Screaming my LUNGS out

I opened a new post and only wrote this at 1.39 am

2010-01-30T23:39:00.002+08:00

the mood was surreal as we stood by the speakers. Ema got them to chant. "RDP! RDP!" at that moment. I can swear to god, that, IF! i were the one holding the mic, I'd be saying the same thing in this manner.

"RDP! *sob* RDP! *sob*"

That moment engulfed me in a feeling of pure elation. To be able to achieve our goal. Wonderful. I'll thank EFA, SID and FYDA for being there. Like the family who wasn't there, they filled the empty slots in my heart. and..

Baby came down from his seat and stood by the stage, rooting support to his babygirl. Even when he's got high fever for a few days running, sweetest ever.

Mum, dad.. they weren't there. Cos they don't support. Because in their eyes, I let go of my income for percussion, my passion. But I don't care what mum cares about when all she cares about is money in her pocket at the end of each month. URGH! let's not go into details shall we?

On monday, both Fahiq and myself will be starting work. God wish us well, and may FEB be a better month.

oh! HAPPY SECOND TO US!

3 days to RHYTHMIC CHAPTER.

2010-01-19T05:43:00.003+08:00

The big day is coming. They aren't gonna be there. Depressing as it may seem, I've got to put up a brave front. WE wanted this for the longest of time.

The recording days. The times we had to face certain over challenging obstacles. The part where we cried because the pressure of hitting the right notes during recording was unbearable. Financially unstable. Photoshoot after photoshoot. Rehearsals after rehearsals. And finally. The big day announced it's arrival in 3 days.

Sacrifices made. Energy burned. Time dedicated. Tears shed. Bonding strengthened.

Made evident with the launch of Rhythm De Pasion's EP album, The Rhythmic Chapter.

What more can I say? Be there and see it to believe it.

Afdal's welcome-home pit was spectacular. Trust the boys to organize such events and take note of the inty gritty. They make it look so simple! Based on my personal experience, to organize a pit with my teck whye buddies take ages for the simple reason that everyone cannot come together on a mutual date.

and baby's marinated chicken. wow! Nice. =D

so I was thinking how I've been arguing with baby alot. he's seen me angry over the littlest of things and I saw him being patient with me. Trust him to do that. He and I both know that it wasn't love at first sight that brought us together. But it was learning the flaws that both of us have and cherish these flaws and embracing it all the same.

I love you ahmad fahiq.

Can't Say NO

2010-01-13T14:10:00.002+08:00

Years ago, Mum told me. Best to help people who are in need and they might just help you back when you are in trouble. She also reminded me not to expect anything. Do your deed with humility and don't brag about it thereafter. But then again, life never go the way you want it to go.

idiotic numbskulls

2010-01-04T06:09:00.003+08:00

Contradicting as it may seem, I hate that Fahiq left me all alone to fiddle with my own devices while he sleep without even bidding goodnight. Why contradicting you may ask? because, dozing off in the middle of our late night convos is my forte. It's my thing. Not his!

Anyways, I don't get it. And I hate it with people who think they know EVERYTHING. I never said that I hated my name. Samsiah is a sweet name. I know it is. The reason that 'Sammie' came about was because it used to be so hard for people to say Samsiah. Yes it is an old timer's name. But so what? It is better to hold a classic name with meaning rather than cool modern name which means nothing at all.

'Samsiah' or 'Syamsiah' is Matahari/ Sun.

So I'd like to tell you and your friends to fuck off and stop fooling around with my name. Oh! and just because you are witty, doesn't mean you can take advantage and make a fool out of me. I admit I am slow and at times I can be a helluva blur cock. But as your fellow human friend, I have feelings too. Be sensitive.

Busking at Tamp was awesome! I love the crowd. and and. EP launch in 18 DAYS! be there lovelies!

heal the world. make it a better 2010

2010-01-01T20:57:00.002+08:00

my 2010. a superb beginning indeed.

everywhere around the world, people welcome 2010 with open arms. Parties, celebrations, drinking, parties *ouh-kay. i mentioned parties twice*

as for me, I welcomed 2010 alongside the person who stole my heart in 2009. T'was very impromptu. After confirming the time for the last train, my one hour tukar baju plus make-up with smokey eyes then pujuk the big baby gajah because he have to wait for an hour outside my house, we made our way to city hall.

alongside the stupid jokes, the mengutuk orang, big baby gajah said "macam mana kalau you nampak RDP perform. tapi you kat sini" So I said that'll never happen.

when we bla bla bla, suddenly I saw Husain with the timbau and Faizal with his snare and anddd wan chai! and EMI! I called Emi over who happened to be big baby gajah's schooolmate. with no ulterior motive, we followed Emi to watch bloco. Baby met my brothers and sisters and I'm glad he did.

so we killed time by soaking in the sights and beautiful sounds brought to us by esplanade. The sing-a-long with baby gajah and when I hear his resolution, it made my heart swell. I swear he is the greatest gift from god. I couldn't emphasise it enough but I had fun. Even though I had wished to spent this year with RDP again, celebrations with Fahiq wasn't bad at all!

oh! may I add the fact that this is the FIRST time ever, in the 19 years I've lived in this world that I get to watch the fireworks with someone I treasure.

I'd do anything to keep our flame alive. I'd do anything to have this every year.

I love you Ahmad Fahiq. Always will.

2009-12-26T13:58:00.003+08:00

Late snippets of zoukout. For the viewing pleasure for all especially EFA ALQADRI.

okayy. Got to find a job real soon. I miss Fahiq already. Daymm.

But most of all. I miss my family.

of 2 months of silence.

2009-12-15T15:12:00.002+08:00

I am updating my blog today from the desktop in Fahiq's room. I haven't paid my M1 vodafone bill. So, that explains. After 2 months? Well what can I say. Changes aren't new. It's part and parcel of getting through life. To sum it all up.

I've done my eyebrow piercing.
I'm no longer with Cotton On.
I've found Fahiq. The light that brightens up my everyday and everynight.
I like to watch the guys play takraw. It fascinates me every single time.
I think zoukout is great. But.... I think my time is up. I didn't enjoy it as much.
I miss Efa Alqadri.

Initially, i wanted to update this entry with pictures. BUT. malas uh. K go.

before 2010

2009-10-20T04:36:00.001+08:00

My resolutions before 2010 and BEFORE I DIE.

1) eyebrow piercing
2) full head braids
3) set foot to all the different clubs (i.e. DBL O, Butter factory, Zouk, phuture.)
4) zoukout 2009.

saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap. go je!

what I need.

2009-10-06T10:09:00.002+08:00

Jodi Picoult's Mercy. Thought me love. Showed me what it feels to be cheated on. Portrayed a third party. Reflects me.

ingat tak lagi.

2009-09-30T18:28:00.003+08:00

party night today.

the kindergarten kiss. the primary school kiss, the secondary school kiss, the tertiary kiss.. and more than that?

Happy Birthday Shah Ridzuan

2009-09-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

To my beloved BROTHER from another mother! dah legal OR WHAAAT! Happy birthday to you. I'm sorry I can't join you guys for celebration today. But fret not! Your present is coming up brother. Wait for it k? Nanti kakak sammie bawak wan go clubbing. AMACIAM?! haha.

a roller coaster ride of emotions. i still can't get over the fact that i've got tons of clothes waiting to be worn. Dammit. This is what you get after 1 year of service for Cotton On. A shrinking storage space, and a goddamn pile of wonderful pieces. Anyways.. Yesterday was my only off day.

And it would've been a boring day if not for a saviour who brought me to upper seletar reservoir. I SWEAR IT'S one spot i'll never ever forget. The scenery. The moon. The clouds. The stars. and you. You who made my heart smile. Thank you. =)

penat lah siak

2009-09-23T10:52:00.001+08:00

Seriously? sammie penat nak mampos. This week, my only off day is tomorrow. Now i'm heading off to work. Pokeywakk! pancit slois.

selamat hari raya

2009-09-21T06:14:00.004+08:00

selamat hari raya to all my Muslim family.

1st day of raya has passed. I'm working in a few hours. Yea. That's gonna be it. I just don't feel it this year. It's as though it's another normal day for me.

to you afiq, i miss you. I miss your smile. I miss the way you lean your body against me before we sleep. I miss your laughter one which would let me stifle a laugh from the pit of my stomach. I miss us arm wrestling even though I know you're gonna win.

If you're still here, then I probably won't be soo lonely. If you're still here I wouldn't buy a blue baju raya and end up wearing a previous year baju on the first day. If you're still here I wouldn't be interfering in another person's relationship. If you're still here...

I once loved you Md Afiq. Just take care of yourself now.

Syurga Cinta

2009-09-14T14:27:00.003+08:00

oooohhh yea. Lucky I got a super-duper-shizzle-mizzle-awesome girlfriend as a bestfriend. So I'll be getting my raya stuffs with EFA. Of course I can get things done because she's simply the BEST in town.

Anyways. Lina kept on bugging me to watch Syurga Cinta which I finally did last night. I think. everyone should go watch it!

Adapated from Syurga Cinta,

Cinta itu permulaan jodoh dan jodoh itu terbagi pada 3.

Yang pertamanya, dikatakan Jodoh dari syaitan.
Kamu berdua berkenalan, berpegangan tangan dan terus membuat maksiat. Akhirnya Syuhada mengandung baru kamu menikah.

Yang keduanya, jodoh dari Jin.
Kamu berdua berkenalan. Kamu suka Syuhada tapi Syuhada tak sukakan kamu. Kamu bomohkan dan syihirkan agar Syuhada suka pada kamu. dan kamu berdua bernikah.

Dan yang ketiganya, Jodoh dari Allah.
Kamu berdua berpandangan mata terus menusuk ke kalbu. Kamu terus meminang Syuhada dan Syuhada terima pinangan kamu. Dan kamu berdua bernikah, Insyallah berkekalan ke akhir hayat.

DAN itulah dikatakan, Syurga Cinta.

not ready for raya. not ready to face the world

2009-09-13T04:59:00.002+08:00

it's raya next Sunday and I happily thought it's not gonna be celebrations for another 2 weeks. So what have I prepared this year? Absolutely nothing. The last time I checked (2 mins ago), I found my room to be still in a mess. I've got no Baju Raya. No heels. AND NOT EVEN SOMEONE SPECIAL TO CELEBRATE IT WITH.

Since I lost you afiq, it's almost as if I lost all the sanity I could've muster to get me through hard times. God. I sure miss you .. even though you're one big motherfucker.

it's not easy.

2009-09-10T21:27:00.002+08:00

I turned and saw the exact same eyes. The pose. The look in your face when you are staring at me while I'm doing cashier. Even though, he is not you. He... he reminded me of how much I miss your presence.

God... make me stronger.

dengdeng lah dengdeng (heyhey!!)

2009-09-05T05:48:00.004+08:00

The bracketed "heyhey!!" part was exclusively added by the future song composer/ writer, Syaza Bte Razali. GAH!

So Friday night was well spent with my kaki gereks! We buka-ed (!!!) at MR Teh Tarik over at Geylang and what outing would it be without screeching laughter until you get stitches all over. fun gile eh. And the part about ema's sweet revenge? HAHAHA! Cute gile! Especially with her awesomely prettayy face.

Anyways, after walking NOT half a round around Geylang, we finally decided that it's far to stuffy. End up heading down to Esplanade. There's actually thousands of pictures but I can't get hold of one until our composer starts uploading.

And I miss this awesome bunch already. Thanks alot guys. It helps. ALOT. hell it does.

Baju Baru? Mana bolehhh...

2009-09-04T04:57:00.002+08:00

ahhhh.. shit. I missed the ending of bachelor Rome!

ouh-kay. it hit me like OUCH!

2009-09-03T06:26:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's bound to happen.
Maybe I failed to see it coming.
Maybe I'm just plain stupid.

Just maybe.

But whatever it is. You'll get what you deserve. Tuhan maha adil. Kau tunggu je. Now you may be happy with your girlfriend. Now you see me as the girl who's trying to pick up bits and chunks from the debris of the life you broke. You may think it's funny. Because I deserve it all along for believing every stupid lie you make. You think it's funny because it just shows how stupid I can get. Yes. go on. Go right on. Insyallah... Balasan yang kau terima will be far worse off than you could ever imagine. Aku akan doakan hidup kau tak senang.

kau jantan sial

2009-09-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

well well well. You are no more different than Mirza, Afiq. You are the same selfish bastard. And now? I want nothing more than revenge. I'd do anything to bring you down because you fucking destroyed my life. Do wait and see. Because your worst nightmare is right at your doorstep. NBCB.

_______________________

A very big thank you to my best friend for taking me in for the night. So I didn't feel like staying at home. I spent the night with bebeh efa. We plot evil vengeful and god.. Does it feel good. Oh! We have a shopping list also. Best gitu kan!

So raya shopping coming up. Annndd... heartbroken, tak heartbroken... hari raya mesti kene lawa!

white

2009-09-01T04:44:00.002+08:00

mum asked.. "kau pakai baju sama colour ngan matair kau kan tahun ni?" and i did not know what to say..

I swallowed back my tears and..
I said "yes"

I miss you, afiq

how?

2009-08-31T02:20:00.002+08:00

what can I say? What do I do? When I know that nothing can bring you back. It breaks me deep inside. and I cry each night knowing that you are out there and you don't think of me. how? where do I go from here. Yes I can still be Sammie. Happy and loud. But it's not the same. I lost it all. Why do all of you have to do this? Every single time. Every single fucking time. It's unfair. Just because I'm not as pretty as half of the female human population doesn't mean I can get through life with heartbreaks. It's fucking unfair uh.

I don't deserve this

2009-08-30T00:28:00.001+08:00

http://shaery.tumblr.com/

for the motivation from my best friend, I'll pick myself up. I know i'm ugly and fat and such.. but I still deserve better.

Thank you efa baybeh..
I read and I cried and I realised we make better couples. LOL! I sayang you k. Payday we go out. I need to SASA make-up shopping! and I want new shoes uh... or maybe.. tah uh! LET'S GO SHOPPING.. at WATSONS also.

tell me if you love me

2009-08-27T16:25:00.002+08:00

it's been a week now baby and I still haven't heard anything from you. Tell me what's bothering you.. if there's any problems, you should share and you should know how much I will be glad to help you. I've even thought of paying for the fines so you don't have to go in there. You mean THAT much to me. I love you. If your problem is me, i'd pull away. get out of your life.. but just tell me. What's wrong. It hurts to think and ponder. and when I have to wait for you not knowing the reason why, i think of horrible things. My every single waking moment have got flashes of you.. on the phone with another girl... meeting another girl... asking for a girl's number... sitting at our spot... the playground... kissing another girl... and it breaks my heart.

i miss you. I miss your voice. tell me where did I go wrong. Tell me everything.

5.30am

2009-08-25T05:23:00.002+08:00

I lost all my zest. I'm not hugry. I'm not happy. I'm not angry. I'm not sad. i'm just going through the motions. nothing is going through my head. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I pray you come round. when you're ready i'm here. Just here waiting for you to come back to me. I won't go after you.. run after you.. or cry for you. at least i'll try not to. I love you since day 1 and that is not going to change. Come back to me... and come clean. Tell me if it's me. Or it was you all along.

I love you Md Afiq.
this is never going to change. and i hope you don't too.

my heart is bleeding

2009-08-25T01:16:00.003+08:00

"Cry"

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

[Chorus:]
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

[Chorus]

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken heart and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

[x2]
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

it's 4.30 am....

2009-08-22T04:54:00.002+08:00

you stood me up..

I fought with my second.

2009-08-19T12:53:00.003+08:00

I saw my "kakak-sammie-fierce-gile-kapaaaa-attitude-mau-lebih" last night when I did closing with the new second IC. I forgot what got me worked up but it has got something to do with the bitch being slow and all. We fought.. literally shouted at each other since even before the shop closes.

Apparently, she did rack up like as if the whole world can wait for her. She's utterly SLOW I tell you. So I said, I'd do rack up. But I was irritated for the fact that she don't know how to maintain the rack up. I figure because she's too old to move fast enough. Then, minutes before I push in all the fixtures and prepare to close the door, she confronted me and said.. "Sammie. We need to talk. What's with the attitude?!"

So I said. "No! We don't have to talk. You do your work, I do mine. There's fucking alot to do".

And that's where it all started.

And efa baybeh, if you're reading this, CHECK THIS OUT.

She did green book for a whole FUCKING 34 MINS. POKEWAK! An easy job which takes up to at most 5 mins of my time. That was how long it took her. I said. "Eh. You are supposed to send figures by 10.30. You are 4 mins late."

The old bitch said, "I cannot! I'm too pissed off to count all this things."

and MIND YOU. She HAVEN'T even started to count the cash yet tau. NABEH KAN?! All in all I stayed in the fucking shop with her up to 11.30pm. During that don't know how many hours, we fought yet again about her wanting to recount all the money in bundles. The coins which have already been kept in mini bags with the amount indicated in front. I told her uh, no need to count because of course lah it's correct kan. And she retaliate saying that was what she learnt over at Novena. Pala puki kau.

So I left her to her own devices and went inside backroom and called Haiyul and Yattah. The bitch got pissed off and keep on telling me to put down the phone. And I kept putting it down, but called someone else a few mins later. HA-HA.

By 11.30pm she counted the money in the drawer for 109374765602845845842 times already. So I told her. "If I miss my train, you are going to pay for my cab fare" The old bitch said.. "Why should I help you when you were so rude just now?"

AHH KAUUU.... AKU PUNYE KEPALA BURST! I threw the money on the table, took my bag and I shouted. "Eh you and your keturunan can go to hell with you uh sabrina!" Ahhh amek kau. Ni abang RDP aku yang ajar. Amaciam?! Haha. So I left.. and I don't know what happen to her and closing. Al-kisahh.. after last night, I won't set foot to that shop again. For real. I'm going MIA.

I went home, took a shower and met baby munchkin and poured my heart out. While waiting for the two berpenyakit punye budak budak to leave our spot over at the playground, I taught baby munchkin how to play Solitaire in my new phone. Sekali die macam excited and forgot that I'm beside him. So I offered to play for him and as if on auto-pilot mode, he hugged me and buried his face at the spot between my neck. ALL THE WORRIES OF YESTERDAY SO QUICKLY FADE AWAY. WHOA! Cair boy. We talked to the wee hours of the morning. I almost fell asleep when he went into his full-grown up lecture about finding a suitable job.. bla bla yada yada...

By 4, we cannot take it and slept till the sun comes up

KAU BABI PUNYE ANJING

2009-08-16T11:42:00.002+08:00

I hate you. I fucking hate you. You made my life a living hell. You will fucking pay for this. I don't regret my decision one bit. Once I'm done, I will never look back and wished that I haven't quit. Even if it kills me to get another job, I will.

I miss lot 1... hell I do. I miss the working environment. And the professional ethics of Ayuni/Amzah the store managers. At lot 1, I know that getting scolded won't be done in the open. It won't be made for show to customers and the part-timers. At lot 1, I know that if I took MC, no one would stand outside my house to check up on me. Lot 1 knows about RDP and how much they mean to me. Lot 1 knows that I don't get to see afiq often. At lot 1, afiq can come and surprise visit me while i'm doing cashier.

Oh.. the loverboy. Just the thought of him can make my heart race a million times faster.
He's perfect. Afiq... he's perfect just the way he is. I love him. My pillar of strength. It doesn't matter if we don't go out typically like other couples. It's ok. I'll wait patiently till the day that you don't have to be inside that godforsaken camp. Thank you for accepting me as the imperfect person that I am. I love you baby munchkin.

a random sprained ankle?

2009-08-13T01:27:00.002+08:00

I had a pretty bad sprained ankle just the other day. and look what my loved ones has to say.

RDP: Sammie motek ngan afiq atas bukit, then fell down from the hill and sprained the ankle.

Mon and dad: I kicked afiq's bike.. (lame sia)

Afiq himself: I think you terpijak jin punya kaki. Tu sebab kaki you jadi gitu.. You salah uh. Patut you pijak jin tu punya perut. Jadi perut you kecik sikit..

muhammad afiq.. ANJING LOH kamu. ahahaha
But I have to say, babylove, he took care of me pretty well. Just the other day, I met him in the early saturday morning when I had a burning temperature of 38.8 degrees. He did all he could to keep me warm. You know how it gets when you have a burning temperature on the outside but actually you are freezing. So babylove took all the sheets/ comforters he has and wrapped it around me. He tucked me in bed... and kissed me goodnight. Then,

he went to the living room to continue play dota. HAHA.

Then yesterday, when I complained about the ankle, he went out of his way to make me feel as if he's here just beside me when actually, he's in camp. Ouh and to hear him sing for me, whoaa.... you make me go goooogooogaga baby..

I love you muhammad afiq..

And he says..
"I love you lot lot... lot 1... lot 10!"

Money over Happiness

2009-08-08T13:14:00.002+08:00

Baby munchkin got a point when he said that a high paying job, don't always promise happiness. Ever since I converted to this full-time position, I've been screamed at, put down and felt misery for the very first time.

and now... I'll be issued a warning letter just because I took MC today.

In life, there's sacrifices that must be made.

I will never let go of family. I will never.... RDP. runs in my blood. If you are going to prevent me from going to jamming sessions, busking, or what nots... then you can say goodbye.

Before I get terminated, I'd rather resign, take off and leave.

Armageddon

2009-08-07T09:38:00.003+08:00

Baby Munchkin: You sayang I tak? (Do you love me?)

Sammie: Sayang lah. (of course luh...)

Baby Munchkin: Sampai mane?

Sammie: Wait.. i can't do it in malay. I cakap in english k? I will love you till the moon lose its balance from the sky!

Baby munchkin: eh! Stars jatuh dari langit? Tu kira Armageddon tau..

Sammie: APE YOU?!

-_________________-"

AND with that, my well crafted reason can not be accepted because my boyfriend says so.

WTF?!

2009-08-07T03:07:00.003+08:00

Just got off the phone with baby munchkin. Can't get much done when he didn't get sleep for 3 days straight. I'm just glad he's back safe and sound. God knows how restless I was during the days that I did not hear his voice.

I was with efa and had our used-to-be-everyday late nights at the usual spot. She told me stuff that really got the ears burning. Apparently, a creature called my lovable efa beybeh "a high maintanence bitch". Macam seeyal. I've known efa since the very first day I step into Cotton On lot 1. And even though it's not a decade year old friendship, I know because I SEE and do not ASSUME.

People like us, people like me and efa, we work for what we want. We shop using our hard-earned money. If we do not have money, we don't spend. Simple as that. Well just because we experiment with different nail polish colours, just because we buy make-up stuffs from Sasa, just because we use external help for beauty purposes, even that doesn't make us high maintanence bitches.

And like what my beybeh says.. better to be high maintanence bitches rather than a fucking whore.

anyhoos, both of us? we are very much happily in love.
To my muhammad afiq,

You changed my super mundane life the very minute we first met. I'm happy.. and I hope you are too. My heart is so full of love for you. As much as I try to type it out.. or as much as I tried to express it out loud for you, I know I can't because baby... it is more than this. It is more than words. It is you. and I love you.

mimpi buruk

2009-08-04T12:00:00.002+08:00

whoa. I just got a pretty bad dream. Something about baby munchkin got amnesia and could not remember anything from the past three months, which means... HE DON'T REMEMBER ME!

Shit. scary balls.

Anyways, he's in the jungle now. Last night he called to say goodbye.

Me : Baby! ASAL YOU MASIH PAT CAMP?! kate jalan pukul 3 tadi.
Baby munchkin: Dah.. I dah nak jalan ni (never answer my question at all)
Me : Ouh ok..
Baby munchkin: Nanti I call you bile dah balik nanti on Thursday k?
Me : ok. Shit. I'm so gonna miss you luh.
Baby munchkin:Ye. I pon.... Bye sayang.

haha! kkae. there's a reason as to why I bold italic the "bye sayang"

Firstly, he NEVER ends a phonecall with "Bye sayang" before.
And it is so not him to show any form of affection on a regular basis. That explains why being with him is what I'd say enticing. He wouldn't say anything to make me feel secure in this relationship. The sweet nothings that most guys more often than not, use on insecure girls like me. I'm happy he do not practice that.

Instead of using words, he show. And I know for a fact that actions speaks louder than words. To get this form of affection, is rare... and when it comes, I know he means what he say.. =D

an eyebrow piercing

2009-08-03T01:23:00.002+08:00

I was complaining to baby munchkin earlier on. Somehow, I overheard mum talking about me to SOMEONE'S boyfriend over the phone. She was saying things like I don't know how to save money and more often than not, would be left penniless exactly 1 week before payday.

FUCK AH SIA

i was super fucking angry. well.. not that it's not true, but you are talking about me. He barely knows me luh and got no ties whatsoever to me. He's not even my boyfriend.

anyhoos, baby was giving me tips on how to save money. He said,

"kalau you nak simpan duit, kalau pergi keje terus pergi, balik terus balik. Jangan singgah2. Off day duduk rumah. Kalau ade jamming, gi jamming.. bukan shopping. every day bawak $10 for makan. Kalau nk shopping, beli sikit2. Kau jangan nampak barang je beli. Selagi ade duit dalam bank, nk spent. bla bla bla.. cicak makan itik punye bontot... aku banyak bebual... aku lah sammie punye pakcik, bukan boyfriend."

yah.. bla bla bla... he makes me sound as if i'm a shopaholic luh. ape saja tah. But I think he's right about the part about spending my money away just like that. he said, it's ok if at some point you look as if you haven't got a life, because the end result would be awesome. Probably it's worth a try luh.

I love my boyfriend!!!

and he called me again before he went to sleep using his office's phone. SWEET GILE because he told his officer that he was thinking about his girlfriend and wanted to hear her voice or something like that.

anyways,

i got a sudden urge to do an eyebrow piercing. so i told my baby munckin with which he threathened to put a shoe in my mouth if i even think about it. So unfair! he said he don't want to have me looking like a minah. And as the thought came as a sudden, it vanished almost immediately.

nvm uh. bottomline is, i love my boyfriend.

ARGH! CRAMPS + PAIN = DISASTER

2009-07-31T08:06:00.001+08:00

I THINK THE DOCTOR MUST HAVE HATED ME BECAUSE THEY GAVE ME PILLS FOR DIARRHEA WHICH LEFT ME HAVING CONSTIPATION INSTEAD. NOW I AM HAVING MENSTRUAL CRAMPS AND THE PAIN? UNBELIEVABLE. it feels like my intestines are being pulled out.

I am in love with baby munchkin's bed!

2009-07-24T06:30:00.002+08:00

it's 6.30 am and I just got back from munchkin's place. The boy got off for a few hours after his grueling 4 days of "in-the-jungle" training. So he spent 10 bucks on my cab fare just so I can come over to watch him play dota. Macam.... WTF!

BUT... while baby munchkin was playing dota outside, at the living room, I went to his room and had an undisturbed few hours of sleep. POWER KAPAA?! His bed is like the most comfortable place to be in!

So I'm glad he didn't kacau because apparently, sammie went jogging right after work last night. And sammie masih penat.. and sammie sayang baby munchkin!

We're moving!

2009-07-16T01:30:00.002+08:00

I'm super excited! Rdp's moving. Later today. To a new home where we will create more profound memories for each and everyone of us.

And we got a website.

http://www.rhythmdepasion.com/

POW WOW YAW!

Happy Twentieth BABYafiqMUNCHKIN

2009-07-14T01:59:00.002+08:00

Munchkin officially turned twenty today. Happy birthday munchkin. You stay happy and I hope you succeed in life so that you can earn big buckaroos and make our life easier when we get married or what not. cheeyyyy.

So I met him early Monday morning to pass him his birthday gift. I got the birthday boy a very nice new arrival from Cotton on (sucks to be you baby, because your girlfriend works in Cotton on. Not some Prada or AX shit. =D) AND a warcraft CD pack to download and play DOTA like in LAN gaming shops. In short, he don't have to travel all the way down anywhere anymore because he got the CD to download it to his personal computer.

Why the game if you may ask?

Well simply because... before he met me, he was a hardcore gamer always spending his time and money away on this. But since he met me, munchkin always.. and I mean ALWAYS spend every single little time available on his hands to meet me. Which is .. super sweet if you ask me.

So there you go. Two gifts with 10 notes on each gift. One has "10 birthday resolutions you should take up" and the other notes are "10 reasons to love you".

This was what he said... "eh you punye gift kurang ajar punye siol...I dah.. eh kiwak. aku dah bukak ade lagi?" ((i wrapped his final gift 10 times uh. just to be funneh))

Me: Amaciam excited pe you nak main tu game?

Munchkin : Aar lah! you uh babi..

Me : Maki uh banyak2. I tau you sayang i.

Munchkin : thanks sayang

Me : Eh bodoh.. kau dah main jangan lupe dunia eh.

when he says it's the best kiss.

2009-07-07T02:33:00.004+08:00

I got a confession by the way. These days, whenever I look at my current phone...

somehow... somewhere... it reminds me of LG's PRADA phone..

I know somehow it sounds stupid.. but it does! SHIT luh.. geram je. Save it till next month okay sammie. This month is babylove's twentieth and I've got to help yattah as well. Go je sammie.

I just got off the phone with Afiq. It's magical the way I never mention about work to him. Every single time we talk, he can spin us away from the norm (i.e. talk about work, the day, ns) and speak of something worth talking about. I'll be automatically teleported to a world where only you and me exists.

And when he reads this, when you read this afiq, I would love for you to know that I would very much like to hang around for as long as humanely possible. (in other words, to eternity)

i love you.

Oh yes. That is another picture of him. The one in green. Yang tgh pakai baju bangla. HAHAHA. Tu lah boyfriend aku yang merupai gorilla pat jungle.

I hate bloody restrictions

2009-07-03T07:03:00.002+08:00

I'd love to talk about work but there is just so much to say and eventually, it all boils down to me. The only reason I'm whiny is because it's a new culture with different practices and I have a lot of adjusting to do. yea. s0 i'll try for the sake of trying.

And I miss my MD.AFIQ. =(

These days he's been trying to do a sexy voice on me which honestly, NEVER SOUND SEXY AT ALL. I have to keep on repeating to him, "Afiq! Stop it before I make your already big nose, bigger!" But, of course, the effort is there. His birthday is coming and I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he said... "Nothing."

and I bugged him to say this... "For my birthday, I want nothing more than to be with Sammie Misnam forever because I love her

hahaha! just to give him at least a line of meaningful substance in case anyone asks him the same question. lol.

Saturday and Sunday

2009-06-29T09:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know if it's me or if it is because it is normal for me to cock things up in the first few weeks of work. Saturday and Sunday was an emotional stressful ride of responsibilities. I've to really pick it up. This is a brand new week and I'm gonna try my best to prove my worthy.

And I think I got culture shock.. but sammie.. KAU GO JE!

aku rindu boyfriend

2009-06-26T11:57:00.002+08:00

So today is Friday. like yeah! I hope babylove gets out tonight. He better be because he pang-seh me yesterday. When I'm sad that I could not meet him, he had to say this.

Me: Ape seh. Org dah lama gile seh tk jumpe you.

Afiq: Huh? Ape you. Lama ke? Baru Sunday jumpe.

Me: You diyamma! Org nk dramatic nie. You layankan je luh. k?

Afiq: eh. Ah kk!

Boyfriend ku sungguh comel. Anyway baby love suke maggi brand MYOJO (Mojo Jo Jo) !

boyfriend ku tk photogenic

2009-06-24T10:20:00.002+08:00

What I am going to write today has got nothing to do with the boyfriend not being photogenic.

This is about lies, deception, and cheaters.

The name shall not be mentioned, but to tell you the truth, I am utterly disappointed with you. At first, I hated you. Hate you for what you're doing. But nobody seem to notice this, so I let down my guards and tried to accept the fact that you are indeed a nice person. I even saw someone I love, a family member, happy when you two are together. And this has to happen. What are you doing? Twisting and turning your words. I liked you. But clearly the use of past tense prove it all. Wake up, my dear. Certainly the world does not revolve around you. You know that what you're doing will get you in the end.

My judgement was right after all.

tomorrow is D - day

2009-06-21T21:39:00.002+08:00

Ok so tomorrow I will start my first shift over at J8 as a full-timer. I'm pretty nervous but I think, I'll make it. Hopefully.

anyways, I don't know what's the deal with guys coming back now and say they like me, and they waited, but I didn't. What's the deal? Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right choice. But of course I am. Because afiq have got everything I could ever ask for.

I never said this out loud, but I think I'm in love. =D

Shit. I'm a full-timer

2009-06-20T01:11:00.002+08:00

Ok! i know some of you are asking for boyfriend's picture. I don't really have a true picture of which I took myself but this was stolen from his bunkmate's brunei pictures. HA-HA.

i know it's unclear and stuff. I have one clear one but his nose looks big. Not that it's not big. but somehow it looks bigger. Despite having a big nose hole and such, I still love him ok?

Anyhoos, these past few days saw me having my MIT training. God knows what I'm in for. I'm still trying to figure what differentiates a part-timer and a MIT. Like I really have to stop thinking like a part-timer. I'm no more in LOT 1. I'll lose my kaki gerek.

well, that's part and parcel of life where we got to step up and learn to be independent.

This full time position also means less fixed timing. Which means I may not be present for some important events. DANG! go figure.

i AM nineteen

2009-06-11T23:43:00.001+08:00

My ELEVEN june was a time well spent. Eventually turning nineteen was far better the turning eighteen. Because nineteen means family. Nineteen means my friends. Nineteen means mr. boyfriend. Nineteen is a turning point. Nineteen is being a manager-in-training. And nineteen is simply splendid.

As a birthday gift, my buddies decided to bring us all together and have a good ol' fun time together. Thanks to the organising comittee. We have Hamdi, Syaza, Aqilah, Yattah, Syazni. Anyways, Singapore flyer had this promotion for students where tickets would go to as low as $10 if the student card was presented. Looking at how I lost my wallet and lost all forms of identification including student card and IC, I thought I would've to paid the full price of $30.
BUT NO, YAW! My awesome friends. Awesome.

Yattah and Syaza went down all the way, earlier than all of us, just to do some under the table with Yat's friend so I can get my tickets at $10. Super sweet can?

Bottomline is, Flyer, it was an experience. Especially with the bunch.

And this? This is the first picture of my SUPER CUTE BRO! syazni. The one who presented us with cool birthday cards in the form of a CD.

And Nadia? this babe got us june babies (excld. faizal) ear studs!

My awesome bunch. LOOK AT US! EXCITED PE DAPAT NAEK SINGAPORE FLYER?!

I love pisang ok?

My favourite. Look at us so happy with out comfort buddies.

The June babies of course.

I got a few things this birthday. I got a body shop pack from ILLI baby. She said she got me a body butter as it reminds her of her first break time with me. She was complaining about dry skin and I offered my body butter as a makeshift mosturiser.

Then, I got this high-cut heels, from my family. GEREK PE! can use for my party nights. When I get my IC back.

Then, there's the flyer treat. PLUS. A new wallet from Syaza and Yattah and a few others. HEEE. And I love this one because! There's alot of slots, but I got only 2 cards to spare. DON'T LAUGH ehh..

Ouh.. and chocolate!

And the Card from aqilah paling cantek and syazni.

AND A SONG FROM afiq hunneh.

ugly singaporean

2009-06-10T01:15:00.003+08:00

FIRST OF ALL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST YANONI AND LIYANA PISANG! You lovely beingS enjoy your birthdays okehh? May you be blessed with the best of everything this birthday. Get the most out of your birthday this GSS period.

Talking about GSS, there is so much we as retail assistants can do. Eventually, what customers do defines what customer service really is.

That aside, today a few of us met at PPIS childcare over at Bedok for Haiyul's FYP project. It involves teaching percussion to young kids and it was freaking AWESOME. I was late because I had my final interview for the MIT position I was vying for. Anyways, as soon as I entered, I was greeted by a birthday song meant for Pisang and the next for me sung by the kids. If you ask me, that is the best birthday present I could ever ask for.

The few hours with them was one of pure innocence. Their young eyes somehow reflects who all of us were previously. How we got to become who we are now. We asked if it was our mistakes or if it was our parents or if it's meant to be this way afterall. It's somehow like a mystery which will never be solved.

When we see ourselves now, we tell ourselves that we will never love our future children differently. We would shower these kids with equal love and fairness. But this is now. When one becomes a parent, the feeling will be different altogether when the weight of the world lands on their shoulders, every sense of sanity will deteriorate.

So in other words.. love the people around you..

it's my brithday.. NOT

2009-06-07T23:34:00.001+08:00

Hey love!

i think I have the KENTAL-EST boyfriend in the world because he called me today to wish me birthday.. DOINKS =_="

So the story goes like this. Afiq was in Jurong Island since Friday and the friend did not bring handphone along. According to him, he was worried about what I'm up to when he's there and didn't get to talk to me and such. Having been the last day for duty over at Jurong Island, he returns back to camp and having missed me so much decided to gamble all and just see if I was working. Apparently lady luck wasn't on his side, since I wasn't working. So he called me using a public phone and complained.

Afiq: I miss you seh. anyway, happy birthday to you k?
Sammie: *cricket besar nak mampos* you bikin klakar pe?! gi relek dulu ingat birthday orang bila.
Afiq: Oh! AAR LAH
Sammie: Oh aar, monyet.

kental kan! boypriend ape sia ni

happy birthday mummy!

2009-05-28T01:42:00.002+08:00

My mum hits 47 on the 27th yaw!

So it was a family thing. It's nice cos we haven't had that for a long time. Rahman was there to join us. It's cool. What bugs me though is the fact that for every family dinner, kakak will always have a partner along. Amin doesn't count cos he's still young. It is either I do not have a boyfriend at that point of time OR my boyfriend can't make it. GAH! I know.

But it's cool, cos mr AFIQ joined us through the phone. Jadi lah ye. Ouh and throughout the conversation I kept bugging him to surprise me on my birthday which is exactly in 2 weeks! Haha. I didn't mean it luh. I was just trying my luck. Kalau ade, ade.. takde takpe... LOL.

AND MY LOVELY FRIENDS... sammie is turning NINETEEEN!!!!!!!!!! *hints hints*

11 JUNE 2009, THURSDAY! dum deee dum

BOYFRIEND SAKIT

2009-05-25T03:24:00.002+08:00

WOOTS WOOTS! It's 3.25am. I just got a call from boyfriend.

I thought it was some old uncle who got the wrong number. Sekali boyfriend lah. He's sick. So his voice became as rusty as an uncle's. Anyways, it turns out that his stupid thing at Jurong Island got off days!

POWER KAPAAAA!

Die ajak jumpa. Gile nak jumpe pagi2 eh. Haha! we decided on LATER. Like tuesday's wee morning. But I haven't told him I got sales setup. How eh?! K nvm. Just pray it ends early. DUDUDUDUDUDUDUUUU

Come back soon

2009-05-25T01:08:00.002+08:00

I was tagging orange coloured sales tag on my hand when I felt vibrations. It turned out to be a message from my bro. He was hospitilised and I was dead shocked. And sammie kanchiong terus haiyal. I stared into space for a whole 2 minutes. I wish he would get well soon. Very soon. But I will have to slot in time to visit him over at CGH. Kesian seh.. =(

Bak kata pepatah.... Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul..

Ish.. Now I sound like my uncle-like boyfriend. Yea balls! I got a boyfriend. And he talks like an uncle.

Boyfriend is out of camp but is in Jurong Island instead. This means 12 hours of guard duty without ciggies. He can't even bring handphone along luh. I haven't heard his voice since Saturday morning. I fucking miss him. What more? He can't even drop by and give me a short visit at work. I miss the surprise visits. Come home soon boyfriend.

EH! he wants to bring me to sentosa. But I malas. I lost my wallet. So I don't have an ez-link card. Stupid excuse but .. will do =D

efa! AMACIAM?! MAU GO PHUKET KE GENTING?!

I feel like quitting

2009-05-23T23:34:00.002+08:00

Sometimes. When you do alot, people tend to take you efforts for granted. They think you are going to be there all the time. They say things that hurt you. They say it's a joke. But I didn't know jokes hurt people's feelings. So now I'm thinking. I've been there all along. Now, is there a choice to quit?

don't ignore diabetes.

2009-05-19T01:47:00.002+08:00

so my hopes of going back to school is crushed. I've to wait for more months of saving up.. again.

to bros and sis. I'M SORRY! like really super sorry. Especially to Ima. Sorry...
Probably sorry does not seal the deal like that... but i'm sorry.

because it's mutual

2009-05-17T03:56:00.002+08:00

There are stuffs going on lately. It really is troubling me. I don't wish to share with anyone. Let me settle it for now and when things are back to normal, you will know.

and, I have a boyfriend.

And sammie pulled the trigger

2009-04-19T01:42:00.005+08:00

The following is a message I sent to the bitch over facebook. She who played with fire. You mess with my sister, you mess with ME.

Ima. I'm sorry for interfering in matters like this. But Ima, as long as I can protect you, I will because eventually we are a family. Not friends. Not bandmate. But sisters. I love you just the way you are and we don't need bitches to demoralise us.

Hi Nurdiniyati.

I hope by now you realised what you've done. You posted a picture of someone you DON'T even know and made it a laughing stock among you and your TRCC friends. wow.

Who would've thought that your bunch could be as immature as that.

Yes. Probably it's your right as a "photographer" to snap shots of your subject. But do you even know the laws of photography? My advice to you, read it up before you get yourself sued.

Just for a start, Nurdiniyanti, please keep this in mind. YOU CANNOT PHOTOGRAPH SOMEBODY WHO HAS A "reasonable expectation of privacy"

Try imagine this.

I decided to sneak a photograph of you while you are changing (although it's disgusting enough to look at your display picture).

Ask yourself: “Would the average person expect privacy?”

Would you want privacy Nurdiniyati? Well of course.
If so, don’t take a photo.

Simple as that.

If you are wondering why the hell am I even writing this message, let me tell you. Ima is my sister. So if you mess with fire, this is what you get.

Wait for a lawsuit flying your way.

But if it doesn't then I guess you can relax and enjoy life. Probably wait later because I will be praying for you to rot in hell. oh!

Even better. See you get breast cancer since you like boobies so much, why not take them away from you ehs?

and this is between you and me. Things are probably settled between you and ima BUT I am doing this because I am unhappy with your ethics as a human being and as a Muslim.

Yours truly,
Sammie.

I have a neglected blog

2009-04-11T00:51:00.002+08:00

Yes. I am doing the unthinkable. I'm neglecting my awesomely "have-always-been-there-for-me" blog.

I've been thinking a lot these days. I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. And right now, I might be falling for someone, which of course, if you know me, might only be a small teeny weeny crush.

BUT! dang. I don't know what to say. But I like him a hell lot lah balls.

if only eh. Haiz... whatever..

Sammie very sad.

2009-03-22T14:31:00.002+08:00

This is super true.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

updates updates

2009-03-15T11:43:00.002+08:00

It was one happening week.

I believe I've drained out all energy I could master for this week. With the renovation at work, and recording, and late nights.

Recording was awesome. We did better than what we expected. I was a nervous wreck. But yes, I believe everyone should know that I have to cry. Haha. Oh and I have a pretty huge crush on a particular musician. No more Uan Abang =X

Oh! AND friday night/ sat morning. Simple splendid! Movie night with Efa Hunney and Jube. We settled for Bloody Valentine at 2 in the morning. A must watch movie. I lost my voice from all the shoutings. Happening uh!

sucks to be me

2009-03-07T01:13:00.002+08:00

Yes, I can never be the best
Yes, I don't deserve to get hold of something good.
Yes, you or they are always better than me.
Yes, I am easily bossed around
Yes, you can step on my heart and hurt it all you want.
Yes, I will never fight back.

in the eighteen years of my life, i realised I can never be the best. I am either second best, or not there at all.

Yes, you sucked and BUTO SAMA KAU!

brothers and sisters

2009-03-05T14:56:00.004+08:00

Been awhile ehs?

So this week had been about the brothers and sisters. Sunday was Bud's birthday. We had a ball of a time at Hard Rock Cafe for Reggae night. Liyana, Imran's sister, is one happening babe. Oh and I'm sure my brother enjoyed his birthday even without "member". Dudududududu

I'm all excited about busking auditions and busking later in the afternoon. All geared up for some fun with the bros and sis.

Efa hunneh.. I'm sure you might be reading this soon enough. I hope wherever you are, you are safe. I love you babe. And I know you know.

DisColated wrist

2009-02-27T01:40:00.001+08:00

I think I might have to go for a check on my wrist.

He's just not that into you

2009-02-20T11:06:00.005+08:00

Yesterday's jamming session was what I would say. Errr.... new? I'm not one who feels really comfortable playing ALONE in front of others. I mean. That's why I joined PERCUSSION in the first place! Because it's a whole lot of people playing together =D

But for the sake of recording, I'LL LIVE WITH IT.

Anyways, the bros and sis had rehearsal for copacabana leaving me alone, with nothing better to do. So while I slept, leaning against I-DON'T-KNOW-WHOSE shoulder in the train, my savior called. We made plans after which we watched "He's just not that into you".

Awesome movie lah! SHANK YOU SHARIPAHHHH.

Ouhhh. and another movie you ought to catch is SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. The story line is damn good and I felt like I was transported to India during the whole time the movie was running!

aku pemalas

2009-02-18T23:02:00.002+08:00

I've been an emotional wreck these days. Apart from the occasional happy moments spent with girlfriends, and the SPECIFICALLY RARE being who makes me laugh on msn, I don't really like how things are going.

Honestly? I'm starting to feel the loneliness. Like everyone is pulling away. For different reasons, the people I count on the most have things they prioritise more than me. What they have in common is the existence of a significant other. Don't deny this but I see afternoon plans to catch a movie, a picnic in the park or whatever.

I'm not jealous but I feel the pinch when I remember the time we use to hang out. When the company of the other is what we look forward to after school. When it was just the brothers and sisters.

I don't know. People change and I have to adapt to it. I know. That answers and I'll shuddup.

i look good on teevee

2009-02-02T01:04:00.002+08:00

Fri and Sat was a tiring yet fulfilling day altogether. It was Chingay and all I can say is that it's VAVA VAVOOOM! But please. I'll skip Chingay next year. =X Or maybe just switch to bells? =X =X

So I caught the late telecast at channel 8 just now. I didn't know it was that grand. And I do look good on TEEVEE! must be the "REDEARTH" makeup. Ok shuddup.

on another note.

MAYBE. just maybe. if I stopped waiting, he will appear. Tell me. Anyone? Tell me. How do I stop waiting when I can't wait for him to sweep me off my feet. Again and again...

anyways, SUNDAY (8th Feb 09) will see RDP busk. Weeeheee!

PPD expires and all else too

2009-01-28T10:12:00.002+08:00

I never knew that the $100 value of the Happy 128 ppd card has an expiry date. Little did I know mine expired on monday. Because of that, people got angry. With that, I apologise. I apologise for being the blur kid that I am. I apologise for not being there. I apologise since I've not been a good friend to stick with you guys every single day. I apologise. Not only to you, but to EVERY single one of you.

SO my days have been about work. Don't ask me what I'm going to do in future because I haven't thought of it yet.

On eve of CNY, we decided to have our very own reunion gathering. We cabbed down to Al-azhar over at Bukit Timah and ate while catching up with each other. Imran was there. Rashid, Iggy, Gus, Babeeehsss, Iggy's gf was there too. There was alot of funny confessions and it was hilarious. Lepak-ed until 2 ish in the morning and then home sweet home.

(8u7y`) << MY CAT TYPED THIS

Anyways, I haven't blogged about my first bike practical and guess what! I DROPPED THE BIKE THRICE!

Ok bye. Don't judge me.

got enroled

2009-01-08T23:54:00.002+08:00

Let's talk about Wednesday. Honestly? It was a day filled with cranky morning, excitement, jittery tummy, nonsensical, emotional baggage AND all thanks to the wonderful company of SHARIPAH. Efa hunnehh.

So we started the day with a morning breakfast treat from boss man. Then we kerje, kerje, kerje, shopping in store then headed off to BBDC. We almost felt like 2 bimbotic misfits but hell who cares. After much procastination did we individually achieve our lifetime dream. (well, not yet lah.. but still..)

My RDP bros and sis knows I want to get a licence since last year. My poly friends know. My besties know... eversince sec 2 when we saw that green kawasaki. And I will continue what I started with Efa hunnehh.

oh and after that? we can just feel our pockets burn. Burn money burn! It's funny yet comforting all at the same time when we being just work mates, went shopping together and took it up a notch with a lifetime commitment of a bike licence.

ok that aside, today's jamming session was fantab! I love our improvised songs and ya.. im loving it!

i love you brothers and sisters.. a hell lot..

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T18:18:00.001+08:00

Happy TWO THOUSAND NINE to everyone!

wtf

2008-12-31T01:25:00.003+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK!

Just 2 days back I got news of you having a kid. I thought it was some sick joke and look at you? Got the nerves to show up at my store. Oh yes! Today you entered the shop holding her hand. You brought her shopping. Go around Singapore on your bike. Must be a nice experience ehs?

Can you remember a few months back? You said that you were too fucking busy WORKING to bring me out on a real date. Remember how you said we gotta end this not because of other girls but because you need to WORK and get bloody MONEY? Remember how you refused to hold my hand in public. Remember how I keep lending and giving you cash because you got alot of debts.

No mirza, it wasn't debts. all the cash goes to your baby. To your stupid FAT ARSE girlfriend. (She's fat if you hadn't noticed =D )

So all the money was for that? Bloody asshole. May you rot in hell!

thank god, I lost you

2008-12-29T13:52:00.001+08:00

wow... you got a girl pregnant? You kept the baby? You are taking care of the kid with the girl?

Who would've thought. You were just a waste of time, tears and money. Thank god i'm not together with you.

So many things, so little time..... NOT

2008-12-27T12:15:00.003+08:00

True enough. Alot of things are happening but there is no little time. What made time soo little was because I waste time. -_-"

Anyways..firstly, thanks to my best friend who had agreed to take me refuge from the wild tigress. Thanks ayu..

LAST THURSDAY was RDP'S jamming session. I love session with the guys. All these weeks, we only see each other in bloco. We don't have the private moments where we share jokes, where we look at each other's tense faces. So this day was a bonus. I don't mind having to come from work and go back to work.

Now I'm suffering from a very bad back ache. But work is fun with people like Efa, Cassie, my handsome bro GouWei and everyone lah.

Oh and I miss UNCLE husain who is in Barcelona.
And IM THE MAN who is in Barcelona as well.

come home safely happening people!

zoukout

2008-12-16T11:40:00.002+08:00

ZOUKOUT was AWESOME. Happening. I think overall, we got a alot of attention. Thanks to novobloco who complimented us well. The roving was superb lah except for when a matrep starts to blow his whistle.

But I hate the whole waiting part. And I hate how the foods are all very expensive. I hate that the toilet became disgusting. I hate how we're brushing shoulders with matreps, minahreps and the ahbengs and ahlians. Oh and I hate when one matrep was drinking and dancing to out songs while we were roving. That nevermind, but he decided to take out his whistle and blow it. And of course if not for his wonferful saliva?/alcohol drink? that sprayed through the whistle and landed on my face. fucker.

I'm still tired out. In conclusion, I'd like to believe I'm not made for this party-ing scene. although once in a while wouldn't hurt.

Happy Birthday

2008-12-10T17:35:00.005+08:00

Before I shower and go wherever my legs take me, I'd like to have this chance to wish my very best friend in the whole wide world a Happy Eighteenth Birthday.

Bavaani D/o Vindan had been my friend since we were 13. In fact she will always be, my best friend. Oh.. And the one thing she will haunt me with for the rest of my life will be the fact that I bullied her back then when we were in secondary 1. -_-”

I know.. That was like a lifetime ago but she won't let me off the hook.

I'm sorry Bav for not giving you a WOW for your birthday. Instead, let "The Pact by Jodi Picoult" be a the first book you can keep. Drown your feelings in this book. I'd love for you to feel how Jodi grabbed my heart and swayed me to the end of the book. Even more so would I want to share it with my best friend.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Probably it's me. I've been drifting away from everyone. My life is a day just for the passing. Going through the motions without any specific element to place me on the ground. I don't know what I've done, what I'm doing and what my future will bring.

esplanade.. a dream come true

2008-11-18T11:22:00.005+08:00

Esplanade. A splendid day for all of us.
17 Nov. A dream come true

Even if someone decided to cry because of stagefright during SOUNDCHECK, it was a POW WOW KAPOW day altogether.

I figure they must be thinking about the times when we had to sit through a tense jamming session. When all the faces resembles that of a muruku. When we were shooed by the security guard. Each by themselves fighting back. Threathening to cut and keep his balls. Take his head and place it in the surdo bag. Moments.. Memories...

Once again, a VERY SUPER BIG thank you to those who came. The support you guys gave, simply splendid. To see all the familiar faces in the audience seat can do one helluva big favor for meself. The one who had stagefright? It was ME.

It figures. I just need to see these familiar faces in each show so I won't be as cengeng. But then again, time and experience can probably change it all.

Not to forget. Big thanks to the crew for videos and pictures. And of course! The big man, SYAZNI for these wonderful pictures in my blog. For more pictures please visit my best snare player, Faizal's multiply.

So today was M.A.D's turn to show what they've got. I can't say this enough it was FREAKING COOL! Totally. Like seriously. Individually, they are great percussionists. As a whole, they rock the house down.

I didn't get a photo of the whole group because the whole time I was hyperventilating at this hot shot.

Yup. It's uan abang alright. The first moment I saw him, I grabbed the nearest person I could get hold of. Ima. And my hearbeat was worse than it was supposed to be on the night of 17. How sad.

Oh you don't have to ask me to behave or whatsoever because it's no use. Any form of contact with people like uan or even taufik batisah can render me useless. When I'm having this moment, my whole body will start to shake. I would giggle and go hysterical. So don't bother to ask me to behave.

ahhhh.. heaven

p.s. on my archives, CLICK on JULY 2008 and see the post on 25th JULY 2008

bulan cinta

2008-11-16T22:02:00.002+08:00

I hate you! I really hate you! Just don't do this to me. I beg you. I can't help feeling disgusted. All I can do now is to down my sorrows in food. All I did was to ask how you were doing. Where you were from. I asked in a nice manner and you had to shout, "eh dari kerje lah. ya allah"
What did I ever do to you compared to what YOU did to me? Now I can't look at Uan Abang without noticing how closely you resemble him. I hope you die. Fuck you.

Today was second day of West Coast and god knows why everyone's lethargic. As soon as we reached haiyul's place, the guys reached for a spot and almost fell into a deep stupor before they noticed FOOD. FOOD instantly made everyone wake up and eat more than 2 plates. Thanks to Haiyul's mum.

After that the 7 of us (because bud and ima went off first and haiyul went back to her room) splayed ourselves, like victim of a mass shootout, across the living room floor and slept like we own that place. haha... Satu2 tido bersepah. Tsk tsk tsk....

thanks to them I can't stop laughing eh. my brothers and sisters. Jokers who don't know when to stop... -_-"

Don't say LOVE if it is all just a LIE.

an early night

2008-11-15T21:34:00.003+08:00

Firstly. HELLO YATTAH AND FAIZAL!

haha. I didn't know that my RDP brothers actually READS my blog. Awesome! Anyways we had a short gig over at West Coast Plaza. Today and tomorrow actually. Seriously, that place is like LOT 1. Like nobody even know Lot 1 existed. I doubt they will know West Coast Plaza existed as well. -_-"

One thing I learnt today is that I thank God that RDP is RDP. I thank God that there's people like Faizal and Wan on snares. I thank God that there's Sham and Haiyul on surdos. I thank God that Husain and Yat are talented Djembe players. I thank God that Ima is one helluva hot mama on Tamborims and Agogo. I thank God for our very own Emi Samping. And who can forget Bud. The all in one. All of them, and I mean ALL of them thought me what I am able to play today.

What you guys said today, I will take it and put in into practice. Just buy me some time ehs. *kening naek naek*

After washing up and stuff, we headed for Upbeats busking session. Baek baek.. serious.. Kudos to them.

Remember how I lost my phone and stuff? Apparently, I wasn't able to contact anyone and ask about BMM's gig. But I think I had my women's intuition and with the help of emi and his friend I was just in time to catch them at Cine. It was my first time seeing them and all I can say is..

POWER KAPAAAA!

Oh. And mom will repair the "BERLOBANG punye sluar" that SOMEONE........

you who stole my heart and broke it altogether.

2008-11-13T16:50:00.002+08:00

You stole my heart like how mirza did. I thought it was true. I thought it was love. But love was supposed to be more than that. I was only falling in love with the face value. One which I always recite as 'he's hot' and 'he's not'. But the hot one isn't always the right one ain't it. The hot one might always be the one leaving you high and dry. The hot one is the wrong one. I made a huge mistake and I got lucky. Real fucking lucky. I promised Amino that I would leave you. But the face, and your voice. It resonates in my head. I yearn to hear them for the last time and I longed to rest my head on your chest again but for what? Miracles don't happen again and again.

Amino, thank you for being there. I wanted to confide to you who is matured but instead confided in you who understood. It meant alot. The strength you gave me because you are the first I told this to. Seriously. For the past year I've only kept it to myself and now to discover a sister in a real friend is something new. To the other girlfriends. I'm sorry. I can't look at you girls in the eyes and tell the truth. Probably when I'm ready or probably in a round of truth or dare. Or probably not. I love you girls.

Aqilah yang paling cantek, JANGAN CARI YANG HOT!

gmhdjhgdshg

2008-11-10T09:50:00.003+08:00

ATTENTION ALL

I lost my phone. I am positive that I won't get it back. Because I found an ipod. When you found something, you will lose something and in this case it's my handphone. Okehhh.. call me retarded.

So yesterday was the wedding day itself. All in all we spent almost 3 days and 2 nights
over there. Got a few who asked for number which means, saham belum jatuh. Wakakaka. But because I lost my hp and there was no number to give. Idk. And i'll shuttup.

Since there is no hp to tell people about RDP's upcoming show I have to resort to this.

We're having a show this MONDAY, 17 nov at ESPLANADE CONCOURSE. 7 pm.

a dream come true indeed.

concert, movies & wedding

2008-11-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

Finally. Concert is over. I'm glad to annouce that I won't be going back to school that often anymore. For those who haven't know, I will be withdrawing from RP and go instead to a school where I can REALLY study. Well now that the concert is over I can fully concentrate in saving up for the new school fees.

Ouh and concert wasn't a biggie. Last year was way better. BUT, seniors item the best. (Puji diri sendiri)

And my secondary school people are a helluva supportive bunch. Thanks eh guys. I love each and everyone of you.

On wednesday, a day after concert, ahgem, mussy, shark, zal, bear, fiza and myself caught 'double 0 seven quantum of solace' over at vivo. Looking forward to more of such outings. Oh. the highlight was when we fetched shark from GJC and I got abit of a drooling moment over the hot barista...... who is ATTACHED. dang.

THEN yesterday, I caught HSM3 with my VERY best friend. BAVAAAAAAAAAANI DO VINDAN.

Best eh bav.

well abang as's wedding is on this sunday. So tomorrow im going to sacrifice my sleep and make my way down to jurong to help out before making my way down for RDP's jamming (CAN'T WAIT). After which, I have to go back jurong and prepare for sunday. =D

I've got a gig coming

2008-11-01T10:04:00.002+08:00

The best person who ever appeared in my life turned 20 yestie.

Happy birthday IMA! You know we love you. You have the "turning twenty" glow seh.. haha..

ANYWAYS. I saw a bitch whose face represents those of a dog when we gave ima our gift for her. The bitch got fats all over. The bitch is fucking stupid. We all hate the bitch... and her followers.

And because our bitches and bastards I got my blood boiling till now. For the record I broke my bracelet.

We've got a gig coming up. Oh. I am going to do things to torment the bitch even till the bitch decides to hate me. GI MAMPOS!

A new hope and dream

2008-10-27T11:24:00.002+08:00

Woooweee! TODAY is busking after months of long rest. Can't wait and I'm all geared up. Hope to give the best. Heee. And I love ramjet's break. Lalalalalalaaaaaa

Ouh. AND thanks to amino and the girls for putting a top-secret plan into action. I can't wait for that too. They're the best I swear.

And please tune in to OKTO channel on tuesday from 7.45pm onwards and catch a few of the bloco people live.

This is just a short update and I will post about raya outing soon. Cos I have been on a farting spree since saturday and wish to BERAK now.

Lastly. HAPPY DEEPAVALI BAVAANII..

of future..

2008-10-09T23:29:00.002+08:00

I've finally told them.. my family. Rdp.

It took me a hell lot of courage and motivation from Ima, Haiyul and Husain. It's tough. That's why I've been avoiding them. Afraid that I will be a dissapointment to the people who mattered the most to me. They care. I know they do even when it seems like they don't.

Oh.. I got myself a PSP! haha. After my TWO TIMES failed attempt at owning an Mp3/mp4 player which can't work after 3 DAYS, I've decided that hopefully a PSP would change my curse. Hopefully.

he who looks like him

2008-10-05T16:46:00.002+08:00

Work yesterday left me feeling fatigued. Even though I only worked for 3 hours, it didn't change anything. The sudden influx of demanding customers added on to our already heavy burden. Among these people, was a guy. A guy with glasses, highlighted hair and the face. He looked exactly like mirza and he took my breath away. What I woiuld describe as a handsome young man.

Oh and if it wasn't for SOMEONE, we could have done a good rack up. -..-"

Today, I woke up my sleepy body because mom thought it's be a good day to go raya-ing even though its for awhile. Went to Nek Masnah's place. Food power oii!

Next up was g's place. Mum had been asking for fyza and I believe she missed fyza soo much, so I brought them along. But I'm sorry g, for barging in like that while you're studying.

Asyafaat's house was after g. It had been almost 7 years since I last saw him. Don't mind that he couldn't remember us because it was way back when he was still a baby. Previously, we use to babysit him at my place while his parents went off to work. Then they split up and the dad brought the kid to live with the granny. Now Aat is in pri 2. Next year, I'm gonna tutor him and come his holidays, I want to bring him out. =D

and I have to go to work again.
and I have to tell the parents something
and I have to tell the friends too...

raya not raya

2008-10-04T14:54:00.002+08:00

This raya....

it's different. everything. i don't feel it. We can't feel it, all of us. My family. Things are not going the way it's supposed to be. I can't adapt to this.

And work? I think the "shift supervisor" thing is BULLSHIT! Maybe the other two can do it. I can't. I can't order anyone. It's not my nature. I was never the ordering type. So the newcomers took advantage of me? What can I do. I hate this post. I hate being a senior and having to delegate stuffs. I love just doing what I'm supposed to do with people ORDERING me. I work better that way.

Thanks to bav for the day out and keeping me in the brink of sanity. We had lunch at pizza hut and watched mirrors. The first ever horror movie I watched in the cinema.

and farrell, just hang on ok?

Sammie ditipu

2008-09-28T01:06:00.002+08:00

Okehhhh.. I realised how irritating the picture below can get when you keep going to this blog and find that the picture is still there. -..-"

I got alot of things to say but for a start, let's just say I'm lazy. Girlfriends are fun beings to be with. I've got alot more girlfriends compared to previously. Now I have, Syaza, Yanie, Wanie, Ima, Haiyul, Moyong, Amino, Surdiyanti Aqolah-qolah, Nadiah .. ahhh sape lagi sape lagi?! Everytime we get together, we'll laugh till we PEE in our pants! (ONLY applies to MAYA. k i'm lying. LOL!)

Today I reached shop at 7.30 am. I know what the hell right. Well, the stock was said to be coming to out outlet FIRST! Therefore, we have to be there by 7 to prepare. So I did what any other part timer would do. Re-filled, counted money, yadah yadah... Came 8.30, Vicky called asking if I have the key.

I said. "Of course lah. If not how I enter shop" She didn't get me at first until I say that I reach oready cos supposed to start at 7. Her instant reaction....

"OHMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!! OHMIGOD! NOBODY TOLD YOU?! THAT TIMING IS NO LONGER BEING IMPLEMENTED!"

I burst out laughing.

Then I realised I wasted 2 hours of sleep and shut my mouth.

200th post

2008-09-15T14:44:00.003+08:00

This being my 200th post, may I present you. Behold....

Sammie, somewhere back then. LOL!

Thanks to, XIAO(crazy as her name implies)Tian, I spent the whole day looking and laughing at these pictures to myself. I know, I sound like a lunatic. BUT, unlike her, SHE EVEN DID HER MOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Funny ah really.

We changed our msn display picture.

Try it out lah. And you'll be laughing like us dimwits. Go to http://yearbookyourself.com/.

Anyway, yestrerday was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Bad with alot of "A" in the middle. There was a shortage of $104.10. I don't know WHAT happened. Where that much money went. It just seemed impossible. I am very scared that I dare not pick up a call from the outlet just now. HAHA!

In the previos post, DAPAT BUNGE.

Next post, DAPAT WARNING LETTER.

Hopefully not lah ahhh..

Casual for the month

2008-09-06T00:19:00.003+08:00

Heeee.. Nampak tak nampak tak?! See that? A bouquet of flowers with balloons attached was addressed to me! I was contemplating from whom it was. I was super excited too, because...

it is my FIRST TIME getting a bouquet addressed to me. First time beb. First time in 18 years!

So I peeled of the envelope with 'Sammie Misnam' written on it. In the envelope is a card which says

"Congratulations Sammie Misnam. You have been nominated for Casual of the month-August 2008."

Happy banget sih aku. From what I know, each month, only a few would get such a gift. Last month, part timers from Cotton On Suntec wasn't nominated for anything. This month it's me. Heeeeee. So I figured, the time I had to rush to and fro here and there from busking to work, was paid of with this simple yet impactful gesture. Today I pledge to continue this thing I'm doing now so I can get bouquets each month. hahaha.

Oh! At least I know my effort is being appreciated. =)

This picture was a long time ago ok.. haahaa. Mak! Sorry I played with food =(

First Day of Sem 2

2008-09-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

Well it's the same thing everytime school reopens to welcome a new semester. We take in sights and sounds of RP students rushing to school. Then there's always the familiar smell of classrooms. It's the first day and I am already lost. I can't seem to catch with the problem today. Maybe it's just not my forte. Or maybe it was because of the laptop which often enough failed to operate on the first day of school!

The whole day was a day spent with BFFs. Heh heh heh. We walked to school together in the morning, spent second break together and walked back home together. A simple fun time.

The Friday Night Knitting Club

2008-08-28T13:35:00.002+08:00

'The thing is, that when you're young, you always think you'll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don't worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And buy the time, you realize that you've lost the dearest best friend you've ever had,years had gone by and you're mature enough to be embarrassed by your attitude and frankly, your arrogance.'

adapted from,
The Friday Night Knitting Club
Kate Jacobs

Thank you Myra for this lovely book. I've yet to finish it.

Reply to tags

Thank you so much to you people. I've yet to nurse this broken heart but at least I feel much better. thank you..

change your appearance luh

2008-08-26T01:32:00.003+08:00

On Saturday, Bav gave me a 3-months-late birthday treat at KFC. See bav! I waited for 3 months and I still love you okeh. Forgive me and I'll give you the best birthday treat ever this year. Deal? Anyways went for Retail theraphy with G and Bav. wah wah... fun fair eh. haha

First time ever experiencing a performance which required me to wake up at 2 in the MORNING! Experience beb.

Monday is busking for TAA. All the proceeds goes to the fund. thanks again to ALL who came down. Really. I had to rush down to work at the last hour because hezam decided he don't want to turn up. Geee. Kesian ayuni. While I was on the way bumped into one of the ex boyf. Later in the night( like just now ) he called me. We talked about life. How unsuccesfull I was in getting a significant other. I told him about mirza. He simply replied

"change your appearance luh"

I know this shouldn't affect me badly, but it did. I broke down and immediately I cook up an excuse saying I had to call my friend just so I can hang up. That sentence, obviously stated that I'm ugly. Make that fugly. Maybe that's why.

Maybe that's why I can't seem to join in the convo with the girls. Because I don't know what to say to them. What advice to give. I can only be happy with them when they told stories about happy life where someone picked them up. They went out together. FYI. I've never NEVER been on a date before. Not even to watch a movie together and have dinner. needless to say, im hurt. Im jealous of everyone.

Syaza said I must be happy being busy everyday with work, Rdp, busking, performances.

Yes i'm happy. But there's something more a girl like me seek. Which overrides all the other loves from friends. something more...

wgrfgbvraak

2008-08-19T10:42:00.002+08:00

saturday. SUPERB! Busking at wheelock/taka was bdgrgkngjaqjgadngrn. Despite a few gliches here and there we carried our new and improved songs well. I'm proud. Proud of RDP =D. At taka, bloco loves came. Personal thanks goes out to Mirul, Ranor, Bambam, Fizahketukhead, Fastgood, Ella, and of course ASRA for the wonderful pictures. (did i miss out anyone there?)

oh. thanks for people like syaza, dian, fit and all who came down.

sunday spells shagged. After last night, my hands and legs were still sore. All I wanted to do is to lay in the bed and spread myself out. But it was night with girlfriends. Something to look forward to. Headed to G's crib and got on with the movie marathon. Watched 27 dresses and Bring It On the latest one. We swooned at the hot, SUPER hot actors. G sayang gave me and syiq each a keychain. I'm going to gaurd it with my life because it helps replace them when I don't see them. Syiq and I planned to go for soft rebonding before raya and to get a spark once we get our license. BEST!

Yesterday (monday) was session at bud's place. I totally know that they are all very tired. Needless to say. Last week was a very fast and busy week. Despite all that, RDP had a compact practice. We went through every single song and it was 'MELEKAT ANJING'. Finished session and went to PS to lepak. Powerrr kapaaa!

zouk. now im broke.

2008-08-16T00:21:00.004+08:00

Out and about since 3. Because I woke up at 2.30. Balls.

Our song for Reflections 08 is officially... i repeat. OFFICIALLY complete. Power kapaaa?! we kedebak kedebuk then 8 of us headed to zouk for Wicked's album launch. My first time. Paiseh ok. You know, when you turn legal, there's a bunch of things you can do. Things like buying ciggies from 7-11, watch M18 movies, go to club, drink.

I don't do ciggies, drink. Eighteen to me is just a passing of age except that I can now watch M18 movies (even though they still asked to check my IC to watch NC16 movie. Believe it or not. NC 16 beb.. ) Today, I appreciate being my age because I can GO INTO zouk to stare in awe at uan abang.

Not going to say what happened but RDP + Faizal can't stop laughing and making fun of me. I admit I'm a noob. OK?

They said it was quite mendak. Even though it was at zouk,(where the party people were said to be at) it wasn't as happening as the one at powerhouse a few months back. I don't know. All I know I was like one mad dog looking at uan all the way (to the point that my neck is sore) and turned deaf when they shouted..

FIGHT!

and I was standing right in front of the speaker.

Later in the afternoon is busking at taka. Can't wait. I'm all hype up!

weekend getaway

2008-08-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

I just got back from session at Bud's place. I love the timing. So many things accomplished in this one day. Oh and I took the wrong bus because we've not had practice at Bud's place for quite sometime. Paiseh beb.

Oh and tomorrow is wicked's album launch. I'm not in the invited list or guest list. But I very much want to go. Except that, I have to purchase a ticket at $18. Looking at how tight my budget is, I've to let it pass. My inner instinct told me to gatecrash so I can look at my hot uan abang. The rest of RDP is going. I think they saw my pathetic "cannot-see-uan-abang's" face. They decided to chip in the money for my ticket. Heeeeeeeeeeee!

I so love them ok?! I mentioned this before and is not afraid to say it again.

RDP = family

I don't mind changing my work schedule 6 times in a row just so I can accomodate to RDP's busking and practices. Same goes with besties.

Tmrw afternoon will be G's paper. I wished her luck on behalf of the others. Can't wait for our weekend getaway. Wooowooo!

marshmallows for breakfast

2008-08-13T00:45:00.003+08:00

I wondered why I didn't discover all these good books before. Prolly because I was poor enough to buy any books? 'P.S. I love you' was the first ever book I bought. Next up is 'Marshmallows for breakfast'. Worth my money, these two.

'The night I met Will he didn't even stay that long in my mind after he was gone. I didn't realise that's how it worked sometimes when you met the person you were going to fall in love with"

extracted from Dorothy Koomson's 'Marshmallows For Breakfast'

Standing on the train, reading my book and digesting that line, that image of whom came to mind; Mirza. First time I ever saw him a year back in RP's 7-11, he never registered in my head long enough for me to dwell about him all night. It was only at the spur of the moment, that I found him cute. Truth be told, I'd been eyeing on the hot year 2 sem 1 yat's classmate because he happened to be in 7-11 too. So between the 2,

Mirza; didn't remember.
Hot year 2 sem 1 yat's classmate; registered.

Even though it was a short-lived love, it was love. Love is not about being with him/her forever. It's about giving a piece of your heart and exchanging it with the other.

Yea. I got over it. But he comes and visits now and then. Not literally. Just virtually in my head. It's a good thing because then I won't miss him that much. =)

oh happy day

2008-08-11T23:47:00.002+08:00

I can't help but to repeat myself each time don't I? As the wise man once said, we don't always need a lover to feel loved. Sometimes we just have to appreciate what's there in front of us. When we're happy they're there and they continue to be there when we're sad. Yes. I'm talking about friends.

I've always taken Yani for granted. We live only a few blocks away and I can see her when we go school together, during breaks, going home. I see her everytime! or so I thought. Then busy came crashing in. It hit us in a way where neither of us are able to get a glimpse of the other. Drowned by the heavy waves of busy. I can't see her. Like I totally lost her.

Today, we got the whole day to ourselves. From the visit to the clinic, to the ABC biscuits, to the 'tak-kene-tempat-moment' in the train to trying to verdict your x-ray result to laughing in the library to the movies to the lepak. I indulge every single minute with Yani. Who knows when busy decided to strike again?

Yani is starting work this wednesday. Good luck hunneh. Remember, we can never have everything. We have to sacrifice. Oh.. and and and! There's always the phone and laptop. So everyone is just a click away.

Yes and an even better way to wrap your day beautifully (with wrapping paper bought from kedai mamak, purple in colour) with your besties who knew you for 6 years already. I miss the three stooges badly. Fyza, Ayu and Syiqah.

So we're gonna have a dinner date this weekend. Weeeepie! Everything will be on Syiqah (pasal syiqah wasn't in the convo and us, the other three, nak tolak balak!)

bahahahahhaa.

menangis semalam

2008-08-10T23:39:00.003+08:00

Oh. Funny how it seems when we wake up in the morning and felt that we're having jetlag. It's pretty much a Life Lag if you ask me. Trying to catch up on things which happened back then, or even a few weeks back. 'Hold on' they repeat. But how much longer?

Happy birthday Singapore. Happy birthday Wanie love.

So after the performance, a few of us caught the fireworks somewhere in the middle of the bridge. Cool stuff. Met my secondary school cliques after. Nadiah and ayu's getting prettayer. The guys are hotstuff. And they say im muscular. Or do you mean fatscular?! haha

Today I was sick. I had work. I have a performance. I'm spinning to the point of throwing up. While the set was on, I felt like fainting. The people were spinning around me. That explains why I missed a beat during Crump. At that point it sounds right. REALLY! I swear. With much confidence I played only to realise I missed a beat. ANYONE wouldn't be dumb enough to NOT have heard that. Only did I realised that while looking through the videos with Yani on the way home. I'm dissapointed with myself. Sorry RDP.

Btw, I'm glad I didn't go home straight away. Followed to store inst. at Bud's place. Watch NDP repeats and slept before awoken by an addictive song. It is STILL stuck in my head. haha. Prata paradised and headed home.

I'm saving for the long awaited bike license. Ok. I lied. I'm spending my money away. Haha. I needed to think things through. Like would it be worth it or would I be burdened with debts for the bike. I'm thinking of life after bike license. Life with a bike. Still researching and God willing, I'll take a license A.S.A.P and 'yamaha spark' in white will be mine? Insyallah.

Speaking of which.

I saw someone wearing the same jacket as mirza except that mirza's in grey. Oh I remember how I snuggled into them because it was cold outside and how he forced me to wear it while on the way home on his bike. Ahhh memories. I miss you mirza. but you don't. You don't miss me.

2008-08-08T23:26:00.004+08:00

begitu hidup kite hidup sama sama
barulah dinamakan orang singapura

hahahaha! sorry just heard that on the radio. k diam

stranger by the day

2008-08-08T23:26:00.002+08:00

whoa whoa whoa. All the seniors say

WHOA!!!!

Fridays = powerday because we have senior's practice for Reflections 08. Too bad we can't debut it yet. Confirm all will say "Power kapaaa?!!!"

To my dearest ima,

Stay strong. We'll pray for her safety. ok? i love u

the BIG two-0

2008-08-05T13:50:00.003+08:00

Kakak is 20. Happy birthday kakak! You've hit the big 20! Though you're that old, rest assured you don't look anywhere near 20. Good for you eh. I wish you well in everything. I know how hard you're working now. I wish you well in your relationship with hannan too. He's a good man. No matter how much I despise his 'kental-ness' (and yours too) with the Japanese anime thing, I can see he's sincere. I want you two to last. Last being the most kental couple of the year. Oh and kak. Please don't drift away. You always come home late that we don't talk like how we used to. Like how I grumbled about guys, mum and alot of things to you. I want the old "heee-heee" you. Throw away this "I'm tired get away from me" thing you bring home from work everyday. And I love you"

So yesterday I went out with mom to look for kakak's present. Funny how I even succumbed to that. The whole day I sat in front of laptop watching don't know what. Oh! and if mom didn't ask me out, I wouldn't have bathed. K shuddup!

I look at how happy people are with their significant other and I wonder when my time will come. It didn't come for 2 years now. Heck! For the whole 18 years of my life I think. Because I was fooling around back then and when I tried to go serious with mirza, fate refused to. So I'll move on till I find someone...

guide me.

look at us

2008-08-04T02:42:00.002+08:00

Nearing 3am Monday morning and look. I'm still here for god knows why. Done watching 'Sex in the City' with sister and it was awesome. NO! Not the sex part. The friendship part. 4 of them right up to the age of 50. Besties? Do you hear me?

Hear me out when I say this. I imagine us to be like that. Tight as we were now till forever. I realised all I do these days is to live my life for the moment. For the day that passes. Yes it is good because I am appreciating the small things in life. I have you all know that I am missing out on one important thing. The most nourishing reason to live. My girlfriends. The one I spent the past 5 years with. It is the 5 years of love you girls give that means forever in the heart. I miss geeee, ayu, syiqah..... sincerely. BAV! You too ok. Movie dates are those that keep us going.

They might not be there to support me physically during performances/busking but I sure as hell know that they are supporting me. I know because I feel. And I feel loved by these four. Guess I might have to rush down to enjoy fireworks with them this coming Saturday. I don't know how since I've a performance. Will work it out. Soon.

Busking on Saturday? I don't know. I feel like crying again just thinking about it now. I still think it's my fault.

I need a hug. I need love. I need myt girls.

*kurang kasih sayang*